I haven’t been here lately. Since my confession two Fridays ago, I have written Not One Word. Not a word of novel, not a word of blog. One dead tortoise. Then I read this on Helen’s blog – Forty Things Surprise – and thought, “I want to do this too!” Thanks, Helen, for the inspiration.
1. My uncle once: got charged by a rhino and had to take refuge in a tree.
2. Never in my life: have I been to Monte Carlo in a sports car.
3. When I was five: I was impatiently waiting to learn to read.
4. High school was: painful but oddly wonderful.
5. I will never forget: the exquisite agony of unrequited love.
6. Once I met: Pete Burns.
7. There’s this girl I know: who used to be a little kid and now is a consultant in charge of a hospital.
8. Once, at a bar: someone quoted William Blake to me, so I had to marry him.
9. By noon, I’m usually: looking forward to lunch.
10. Last night: I stayed up ridiculously late fantasy shopping at this vintage clothes website for the prom dress I believe I need.
11. If only I had: a ticket to Cape Town to go and give my friend a kiss on her birthday.
12. Next time I go to church: will be in September for the service celebrating Daisy’s starting school.
13. What worries me most: is that the novel I am writing will be underwhelming.
14. When I turn my head left I see: a picture window with the darkness of Germany beyond.
15. When I turn my head right I see: a white wall.
16. You know I’m lying when: I come over all glib.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: random snogging.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Puck.
19. By this time next year: I will be facing an awfully big adventure.
20. A better name for me would be: …. actually, I like the one I have.
21. I have a hard time understanding: oppression.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: try to get my head around Maths.
23. You know I like you if: I make myself available.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: Toni.
25. Take my advice, never: think diplomacy is better than honesty – you only end up hurting yourself.
26. My ideal breakfast is: cooked by someone else.
27. A song I love but do not have is: Suzanne by Leonard Cohen.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: visit my brother’s fabulous indigenous plant nursery and spend some time talking to the tree man. If you are a single and available female who likes veeerrry laid-back men, please ask him on a date.
29. Why won’t people: do unto others as they would be done to?
30. If you spend a night at my house: expect very friendly children who will crawl into bed with you and request stories. Also, good food and lots of wine.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: Colin Firth, the Darcy years.
32. The world could do without: patriarchy.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of a worm.
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: sleeping upstairs.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: styrofoam cups.
36. If I do anything well it’s: dream.
37. And by the way: I had Thai beef salad for supper.