Charlotte's Web

Blogging my world since 2006


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Survival Skills

My grandmother was not only an angel, but she was more than a little fey. She predicted the fall of the Berlin Wall and the fall of the South African apartheid state, nearly to the day. And she also told me this (I put it on its own line so that you can mull over its brilliance):

The monetary system as we know it will collapse in 2012.

You read it here first.

Reading the papers and listening to the news, you’d think it really is happening. And perhaps it is. But seeing I can’t do anything to stop it happening, and economic talk about quantitive easing and debt crises makes me glaze over like the inimitable Charlie Brooker:

I can feel my entire mind … Entering shutdown mode. Protecting itself from boredom by willfully slipping into a coma. My eyes remain open, I occasionally even grunt, but my inner being has wandered several thousand miles away. Sometimes I’m rudely awoken by a cold strand of drool dripping on to my collarbone. If, as I regain consciousness, their explanation is still going, I wipe my chin clean and go back to sleep.

… I started to think about my chances of survival. What skills do I have that might help if we wake up next year and find that money is gone?

Here is my paltry list:

1. I can use needle and thread. I could cobble together clothes out of sheets and blankets.

2. I make a great salad. If there’s no electricity, my baking skills will go out of the window, though. Also, I don’t grow stuff well, so I would have to learn to forage.

3. I can walk really really long distances without getting tired.

4. I could tell stories around the campfire.

5. I have a good network of friends. A tribe is a helpful thing.

6. I’m not afraid of hard work or boring repetitive tasks. I could work in someone’s veggie garden in exchange for radishes.

See I told you it was a bit pathetic. Turns out I need to learn some serious skills in the next few months – woodwork, perhaps? Or a little light butchery.

What skills do you have that would serve you well if things bottomed-up? What skills do you lack?