Charlotte's Web

Blogging my world since 2006

Ikea Dream

10 Comments

Never in the long history of this blog have I posted about my dreams. Largely because dream recounting reminds me of one particularly self-obsessed boyfriend who couldn’t start the day without telling me his dreams in tedious detail, but also because my dreams are either banal, forgettable or X-rated. However, in the light of the last post, I have to share my Ikea Dream. I will do my best to keep it short.

I was queuing to get into Ikea because they only let in 10 people at a time. We were all queuing on a staircase, but the atmosphere was even and pleasant, with no-one becoming irritable. The Ikea staff were handing out champagne to the adults (there were even fine cigars and chocolate for those who wanted them) and ice-cream to the children, in order to help us cope with the queuing. When my family and I were finally allowed through the doors, we had to take the usual Ikea maze, walking past sitting-rooms, dining-rooms and bedrooms. However, instead of the usual Ikea tat, the furniture was EXQUISITE: enormous crystal chandeliers, rich tapestries, highly textured and patterned pieces in radiant but still subtle colours, curliqued iron bedsteads, enormous mirrors. The richness and beauty had a Russian feel, but it was also delicate and made my soul tingle. I wanted to own everything, each piece spoke to me as if it deserved a place in my home. My husband and daughters were with me too, and they loved it, trailing their hands across the rich fabrics and delighting at everything they saw. It was a gorgeous, sensual experience.

Then I woke up, came downstairs and sat on the two-seater version of this. It’s not gorgeous, rich or sensual, but it still makes me happy.

Author: charlotteotter

Novelist, feminist, crime writer

10 thoughts on “Ikea Dream

  1. Imagine! Being given champagne and choccies while waiting in a queue! I think that should be queue etiquette from now on!

  2. Ah, Ikea in an ideal world! If only it were thus… Freud thanks you, Charlotte, for such a beautiful dream of wish-fulfilment.

  3. I think the title of your last post extends to your dream too – it sounds like you conjured up a really wonderful temple of gorgeousness and luxurious living. Maybe you could sell them the concept! Perhaps the ice cream and champagne could be served to sooth frazzled nerves when you’re queuing to pay at the end.

  4. Lovely dream with the champaged and the ice cream and the richness and the beauty. Your inner world is clearly one of richness and delight (can’t resist a little analysis here). Sounds like the name of a book – “Ikea Dreams”.

  5. I knew it was a dream when you said everyone was queuing up wiht equanimity and not getting stressed!! They opened a new branch here in London a few years ago (bear in mind we already HAD 2 or three branches) and the special deal for the launch was that the store woudl open at midnight on a weeknight and the first x number of people through the doors would get a sofa for £20 or something. Clearly they thought who the hell will get up at that hour of the night for a sofa?

    They had a riot. A real shots-fired-in-the-air, kids arried to safety over the heads of the crowd riot. People who saw the queue for the IKEA exit offramp on the freeway panicked that they would miss out on their sofas and just abandoned their cars on the freeway in favour of running for the store. Total chaos. The IKEA nightmare to your IKEA dream!!

    And say what you want about IKEA, our squishy sofa is from there and I wouldn’t trade it for the world🙂

  6. Send photo now!

  7. The first time I ever visited an IKEA here in Germany was near New Years…and yes, they were offering a champagne!

  8. I had an Ikea dream too:

    I found a hoard of Ikea pencils stashed under our cats bed. That damn cat! I said in the dream, because I’d been looking for them everywhere.

  9. How lovely! As long as there wasn’t particle board beneath all the sumptuous exteriors🙂

  10. I have a confession: I LOVE IKEA. I could spend hours lost in the maze – and I mean ‘lost’, because they really trap you in there! When I get to Seattle in a couple of weeks, I plan to head to IKEA to fill some of the empty space of our new apartment. Poor Ben. I am not sure he understands my need for storage boxes or paper lamps.

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