I’m shamelessly lifting this idea from Ms Bleeding Espresso (she lives in Italy and bleeds coffee!). It is a list of 15 things I haven’t said over the years to various people, for fear of hurting them or making them angry, but also out of embarrassment, shame or shyness.
Here is my list of things – thus far – left unsaid:
1. You were a shining light of talent and beauty; it still breaks my heart that drugs took you.
2. Of all the people I know in the world, no-one deserves a loving relationship more than you.
3. I wish you would stop yo-yo dieting – accept your beautiful body and get on with it.
4. You were a lovely, funny, delightful friend and I wish you weren’t lost to us. Oh, and I still have your book.
5. I am sorry for the situation you are in, but it is of your own making: if you try to control people, they run away.
6. You are a boring narcissist – go away and come back only when you are prepared to show genuine interest in other people.
7. Being infantile is not attractive in an adult: grow up. Also, you are not as wise as you like to think you are.
8. You need to show love in your actions – mild protestations are not enough. Right now, I’m not sure I believe you.
9. Taking anti-depressants will never remove your pain completely – you need to ask my forgiveness for the hurt you caused and then you might start to feel a little better.
10. Thanks for giving me the experience of loving a jerk early in life – it helped me learn what to avoid.
11. I think you have forgiven me, but I am still sorry for that bad thing I did to you long, long ago – it was cruel, under-hand and selfish of me.
12. Living with you is the great joy of my life.
13. Stop living in fear! Have the courage to be your authentic self, and make the demands that you require.
14. Please stop babbling at me in dialect. I don’t understand you and I don’t want to.
15. Being engaged is not the same as being married. Get married already.
That was cathartic! I can recommend it. If you decide to lighten your own emotional load, please let me know in the comments.