Charlotte's Web

Blogging my world since 2006

The Marriage Meme


My dear husband has also become a web worker, and now works from home. I am seeing a lot more of him than I am used to and thus far it is working well – he joins the family for lunch, is available to take kids to school in the morning when I have an early morning gym class (moi at spinning, who’d a thunk it?) and there’s always someone here to open the door when the postman brings a parcel.

As a late nod to Valentine’s Day and a token of appreciation to the lovely man in my life, here’s YogaMum’s Marriage Meme:

1. Where/how did you meet?

We met at a rugby party. I told my friends I was off to get a beer and I met him at the bar. We spent a lot of time talking poetry (he knew how to win me, even then) and then some more time … not talking.

2. How long have you known each other?

That was in August 1986, which means we have known each other, like YogaMum and her husband, for almost 22 years.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?

We dated immediately for two weeks. Then there was a five-year hiatus and we started dating again in March 1992.

4. How long did you date before getting engaged?

We agreed within 10 days that we would get married and have a spring wedding, but it took another 18 months before I accepted one of his many proposals – unfortunately, it was the one in the supermarket, somewhere between the dog food and the toilet paper. Unromantic, but memorable.

5. How long was your engagement?

Nine months. We had to wait for spring.

6. How long have you been married?

In October, it will be 14 years.

7. What is your anniversary?

October 1 – easy to remember.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?

About 100.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?

A trad fruit cake. I don’t know why I didn’t go for something more interesting. Clearly, I was not yet a baker.

10. Where was your wedding?

We were married in the Michaelhouse Chapel (the school which my husband, brother, brother-in-law, father, uncles and grandfather attended) and had our reception on the cricket field at Hilton College (the school where my stepfather taught and which my three stepbrothers attended). It was a perfect spring day.

11. What did you serve for the meal?

Can’t remember. I do remember drinking some champagne, though.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?

My husband had his brother, my brother and his best friend as attendants, and I had my three cousins.

13. Are you still friends with them?

We’ve lost the best friend. He lives in Zimbabwe, and we can’t find him.

14. Did your spouse cry during the wedding ceremony?

No, but like YogaMum, I cried as I starting walking up the aisle and pretty much cried throughout – happy tears.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?

Driving away into the sunset with my new husband in his fabulous little sportscar en route to Zimbabwe, leaving all the people we loved behind us. Alone at last.

16. Any funny moments?

My Altzheimer-sufferer grandmother and her likewise brother missing the ceremony because they couldn’t remember the way to the chapel. Luckily they soon forgot that they had missed it, and got swept up in the fun of the next bit. My father made a very witty speech. The band got the wrong food. The waiters served the wrong wine. Our first dance was hilarious: it was a foxtrot and everyone thought it was a rumba. A cousin from Scotland fell “asleep” in the corridor with his kilt all hoiked up over his bottom to reveal he was wearing it in the traditional fashion – knickerless.

17. Any big disasters?

I plead the Fifth.

18. Where did you honeymoon?

Zimbabwe. I got the runs. It was very romantic.

19. For how long?

Two weeks.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?

We had the wedding of two first-born 25-year-olds trying to please everyone. It was wonderful, but there’s a lot to be said for eloping.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

Left-hand, near the window.

22. What size is your bed?

King, to accommodate all those co-sleeping children who now all sleep in their own beds but who still like to visit and cuddle in the mornings.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?

We make each other laugh. We love each other’s company. We are both dreamers, readers, writers, travellers.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?

Neither of us is particularly practical.

25. Who literally pays the bills?

He waves them and I pay them. (He probably thinks it’s the other way around.)

26. What is your song?

Oh. Er – Tom?

27. What did you dance your first dance to?


28. Describe your wedding dress?

The last of the great meringues.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?

Pink, purple, blue, white, yellow – spring colours. Roses, and other things.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?


Anyone else want to play? Kerry – how about getting your blogging mojo back? Kerryn – would this grab you? Francesca – how about you? Alida – is this for you? Or you, Kit?

Author: charlotteotter

Novelist, feminist, crime writer

9 thoughts on “The Marriage Meme

  1. I got a good laugh over your funny moments! Thanks for playing!

  2. We have a lot of early wooing memories in common, like meeting at a party and talking and…! Maybe I’ll do this one soon. And, how nice that you are both working at home!

  3. I’ll give this one a go. I don’t think we even had a cake … I’m just trying to remember. Glad you’re enjoying having your husband working from home – I like it too, though it often means we spend the evenings together on our computers. It’s great to have the flexibility and means I can go out on my own, leaving the children with him sometimes.

  4. Awwww, really sweet. Lovely memories, Charlotte!

  5. It definitely grabs me Charlotte! Is it wrong that I giggled as I read your description of your honeymoon, followed by the length? I’ve known D for 22 years but he was a wee bit young for me to do anything more than talking with on that occasion…

  6. Pingback: The Marriage Meme « White Thoughts

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  8. I really enjoyed reading this, I love hearing how couples met and fell in love.

  9. What a great read. I was thinking of my own answers as I went through it. FIrst met? Hmmm… on a fundraising booze cruise on a bus through the nightspots of Port Elizabeth. It was a cross-dressing party of some sort and Nick was wearing a (borrowed!!) ladies’ broderie englaise top. My best friend introduced us and I spent the whole evening seeking him out on the bus and telling him rude jokes. This is my idea of acceptable flirting. I think the bottle of ready-mixed whisky & water that I was sipping on all night probably helped!! Basically I just stalked him until he gave in 😉

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