Charlotte's Web

Blogging my world since 2006

The Sickly Seven


In the interests of meeting my NaBlo deadline, here is a Seven Random Things meme I was tagged for by Velocibadgergirl. I think I’ve done this one, or versions of it, a few times, so forgive me if my answers aren’t of startling interest or novelty. You probably won’t choke on your cornflakes in surprise.

1. I don’t like doctors. As people, I’m sure they are delightful, but I just don’t like being their patient. Yesterday, I visited a doctor after a two-week head cold morphed into something altogether grosser (permanent headache, green and crusty eye), and I grabbed the prescription for an antibiotic and pain-killers Without Asking Him What Was Wrong. I just had to get the hell out.

2. When I’m sick (oho, a meme with a theme!), any healthy eating goes out the window. Yesterday, I ate n chocolate chip cookies and amorettinis. I also ate Chinese noodles (MSG heaven), toast with peanut butter and Nutella, and my husband’s stonking beef curry with bread. Clearly, I don’t lose my appetite when unwell. There’ll be no wasting going on around here.

3. Apart from having my tonsils removed as a child and one colonoscopy to find a non-existent bowel problem, I have never had any operations. I suppose you could call an episiotomy an operation, but since the need for that was caused by a bloody doctor (really, I do love doctors), it doesn’t count. Actually, I am as healthy as a horse. Many horses. (Just not today.)

4. My parents are also really healthy and have had no operations, except that both have genetic high cholesterol and about eighteen months ago, my mother had a triple heart bypass. (Note to self: time for another cholesterol test. But (whiny voice) that means going to a doctor! Yes, it does. Now off with you!)

5. I do, however, love going to homeopaths. I’ve only been a couple of times, but I love that they make time for you, ask questions and even seem to listen. They’re like psychologists, but with organic pills. I know about the placebo effect, but I’m still convinced that homeopathy and acupuncture cured my migraines. (Except now I have the Siberian perma-headache, so maybe not.) Perhaps doctors just need to learn from homeopaths and Spend Some Time Listening. If they can get their patients to sit still, that is.

6. I think sick-notes for stay-at-home parents would be a great invention, and job creation project. I asked my doctor for a sick note from my children yesterday and he laughed and said (auf Deutsch), “It is not possible.” Actually, it is possible – all you need is a registry of people who are home alone and bored like grannies and retirees, who you then call up when you have a sick note and they come around and cook nourishing meals and play old-fashioned card games with your children. (I realise that this scheme is full of holes, but allow me to dream.)

7. I don’t need a lot of sympathy when I’m sick: I need to be left alone. This means when others are sick, I’m not overly sympathetic. I’ll leave them alone and bring them the odd cup of tea or meal, which is what I expect for myself. This was dramatically heightened when I was giving birth – I Vanted to Be Alone, and became extremely irritable if anyone came from another planet to disturb the process I was working on very well by myself on Planet Childbirth. I apparently even kicked my lovely, sweet, gentle midwife when she got too close to me. Clearly for me, sickness and childbirth are things to be Borne Alone.

I’ll be off to bed then. Feel free to bring cups of tea, but don’t feel you have to stay.

(Oh, and I’m not tagging. But if you need some NaBlo content, here’s your meme.)

Author: charlotteotter

Novelist, feminist, crime writer

12 thoughts on “The Sickly Seven

  1. Being left alone, with a pile of books and the occasional silent delivery of tea and food, sounds like heaven to me in practically any circumstance.

    I hope the head and the ookie eye are all better very very quickly.

    *Leaves cup of tea and tiptoes quietly away*

  2. Hope you’re feeling better this morning – I can ditto on all of the above except that my parents don’t have high cholesterol.

    I tend to oscillate between doctors and homeopaths with the children – much prefer homeopathy but then sometimes panic and go to the doctor for a quick fix – then back to the homeopath to sort out the aftermath of the antibiotics….

  3. “I don’t need a lot of sympathy when I’m sick: I need to be left alone. This means when others are sick, I’m not overly sympathetic.”

    Ahhh, this is me to a tee. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  4. What are you reading? I’m sorry you’re sick — but it is a great time to pamper yourself, and gives everyone else a chance to miss all you do. I too wish I spent more time with homeopaths. A lot of what they do is so intuitive, so it must be right.

  5. I don’t like doctors either. Although I do like eye doctors. I think because they mostly have to take my work for it – which is more clear, this one or this one? Only I can know.
    And I figure who cares if a lot of homeopathy is placebo effect – whatever works.

  6. I’m with you. When I’m sick, I need very little from others, and please no smothering me. I don’t see any loopholes in #6. I think it’s brillant!!

  7. No wonder you’re feeling crabby about NaBloPoMo — blogging is no fun with a headache.

    I’m with you on doctors, though I don’t hate them. What I hate is that I always seem to lose about 40 IQ points when I’m in their offices, so that I cannot seem to ask them the educated questions that I meant to. Then I just get irritated when they act as if I’m just some dumb, uninformed patient.

    One of these days I need to go to a real homeopath. Enough with this self-medicating (even if it’s little sugar pills) — I would love for someone to really listen and use their intuition instead of a mental symptom checklist and a list of cheapest drugs.

  8. Ha, toast with peanut butter and Nutella? I like peanut butter and Bovril together ~ yum! It also means I can eat it on my own, because so far I haven’t met *anyone* who likes the idea, let alone the sight and the taste. But believe me, they make good friends on a piece of toast, these two favourites!

    Feel better soon … {H}

  9. I am with you on #’s 6 & 7. Call the Grandma Brigade!

    Unfortunately my husband is one of those annoying people who loves to be babied when he’s sick (thanks, mother-in-law 😦 ) and doesn’t understand why I cheerfully ignore him.

    I didn’t kick anyone when I was in labor, but I didn’t really want anyone to talk to me while I was rocking catatonically in my rocking chair.

  10. I hate to be the angry old man here, but I think, on the subject of homoeopathy, that everybody needs to see this vid:

  11. So sorry to hear that you are poorly, Charlotte! But knowing what you need when ill, and getting it, is undoubtedly the fast track to recovery. And no, I don’t like doctors, either! Get well soon!

  12. Ah, another bullet-proof Saffer. I have my tonsils, appendix, adenoids and wisdom teeth. I never had sinuses drained, had a filling in a permanent tooth, never broke a bone and never been admitted to hospital.

    My mom (very unfairly) suffered from a genetic kidney disorder which meant she passed away far too young and long before I was ready to say goodbye, but I appear to have no signs of it – phew. However, even when she lost all sensation in her feet and kept losing her balance and falling as a result, she never broke a single bone, prompting her to quip “trust me to get some exotic kidney disease, not osteoporosis like everybody else my age!”.

    My dad is 85 and has (to my knowledge) never had surgery or spent a night in hospital. Strong genes, clearly.

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