Charlotte's Web

Blogging my world since 2006

Domestic BPO


I am outsourcing my business processes to an external provider, who is enabling me to focus on my core capabilities, thus impacting favourably on my profit margins and allowing more scope for my work/life balance and output targets. My KPIs are on track.

Granny Toni has arrived to look after her grandchildren. Hooray!

Can I just mention that I am tucked up in bed while she entertains, feeds, hugs, wipes the noses and stimulates the imaginations of my three children? We are clearly leveraging our synergies.

I am working (writing a white paper on business process outsourcing), but From My Bed In The Daylight Hours While All is Happiness and Light Downstairs. Someone Else Has Tidied the Art Table, Folded the Laundry and Even Ironed Some. We have substantially offset the risk of people not having clean clothes to wear.

Tomorrow, despite its being school holidays, I may achieve a key goal of Going Grocery Shopping Alone. There is every chance that I will fulfill this week’s target of Having My Teeth Cleaned, Going for my Bi-Annual Hairdresser Visit and possibly even Visiting Ikea.

The thrills, folks, are too innumerable to contemplate. I may just explode with excitement.

I do love a grandmother. Everyone should have one.


Author: charlotteotter

Novelist, feminist, crime writer

8 thoughts on “Domestic BPO

  1. I hope you have a wonderful Biannual Hairdresser’s Appointment, Teeth Cleaning, and the ever-popular Solo Grocery Shopping. Sometimes I even manage the Solo Library Visit as well!

  2. That sounds lovely. I need to do some serious outsourcing around here. I do have the in-laws coming this week, so there’s hope.

  3. Please send me a grandmother now! I’ve just had the most horrendous morning Grocery Shopping With Screaming Child In Tow. It is impossible to push a pram and fit the weekly shop into one supermarket basket! Someone could make a brilliant business idea out of the difficulties of food shopping with children… pram parks for supermarkets… safe creches in supermarkets… wish my brain worked enough to think about it!

  4. Those who do not have one close by should try to find one in their neighborhood. I am sure there are plenty of lonely grannies out there just dying (no pun intended) to give a hand.

    (note that while I am preaching these words, I realize my mother in law lives eight miles from here, and we are having my parents over for the week, so no short supply of cheap and eager labor force for just one boy).

  5. Sounds wonderful! Hang on in there, Charlotte. A few little years (that will fly by) and suddenly your children become independent beings and you are left holding lego/dolls/books in your hands and saying ‘doesn’t anyone want me to do anything for them?’ Have a lovely restful time now, knowing this day will come.

  6. Enjoy your external provider! Mine have been here for 2 weeks but are sadly leaving today, leaving me with three children who are now used to stories on demand, cricket training and table tennis every afternoon and plenty of treats….. and a would be writer, who has got used to somebody else doing the washing up while I pretend to be doing important things at the computer!

  7. You are a blessed woman. And your family is too. I can’t imagine such a luxury – well, I take that back. I do imagine that. Just reading about what it’s actually like at your place, allows me to add more details to my own fantasy. Good for you!!
    That white paper sounds verrrry interesting. Will you publish it here? With a link to the source?

  8. You crack me up 🙂

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