I was woken at 5am by someone crying. She was having a nightmare and I soothed her back to sleep. I came downstairs, made myself a cup of coffee and switched on my computer. I read a few blogs, read a couple of newspapers, and then it was 6am and still dark outside.
I love mornings. I love their potential. Even though my entire day is already mapped out for me (take people to their various places of learning, work, fetch people from places of learning, cook lunch, put baby down for nap, work, wake baby, take daughters to gymnastics and baby to park, make supper, put people in their beds, work), I love the feeling of not knowing how the day will be.
There is every chance my work will go well, that my people will have happy mornings, that we will have a nonsensical discussion at lunchtime, that I will allow myself a cup of coffee on the bench in the sun after lunch, that someone will finally learn to do a handstand at gymnastics, that they will go peacefully to bed and that my work will go well tonight.
Yesterday was equally mapped out and yet it contained small surprises of its own, the little heartbeats that make life more pleasurable – a chat with a dear friend in the morning while we were both working, a delicious soup for lunch, coffee in the sun, some drawing with my younger daughter, watching my older daughter run around the athletics track while my two younger children played an extravagant game of explorers in the bushes behind me.
Evenings are a time for reflection, for looking back on the day. While I relish the quiet, the sleeping house, the breathing of three people who trust to me to ensure that their days are steady, rhythmic and well mapped-out, I am usually too tired at night to enjoy it. I am scratchy, desperate for quiet, irritable that my home has not miraculously cleaned itself.
Mornings are different. Rested, I am ready for what the day brings. The dark outside still provides a blanket that I don’t yet have to throw off. I enjoy the luxury of potential, waiting for the first noises from upstairs that will indicate our day has begun. Until then, I enjoy the velvet neverland between night and day.