Charlotte's Web

Blogging my world since 2006

Today Charlotte Will be Modelling …


… her very own sweat.

(Just thought you’d like to know.)

It’s been hot. Hot, hot, hot. It’s been so hot, I cleaned off the six weeks of mould that had accumulated on the paddling pool during our monsoon, stripped my three children down to their nethers and threw them in.

It’s been so hot, that we have scraped the rust off the three fans that languish unused like white suits of armour in our bedrooms, and switched them on.

It’s been so hot that I washed down our trailer trash garden furniture, dried it and arrayed brightly coloured tablecloths upon the tables to make pretty.

It’s been so hot that I swept the terrasse and hosed it down to prevent it from dehydrating.

It’s been so hot that our universally retired neighbours are scaring us by wearing their vests and skimpiest bathing costumes in their gardens.

It’s been so hot that apart from the sound of happy neighbours chatting in their gardens, all I can hear is the shush-shush of hoses as they water their well-manicured lawns and flowerbeds.

It’s been so hot I can hear our own lawn growing, along with its very good friends, the weeds.

It’s been so hot that lemon beer has been the only thing to drink.

It’s been so hot that salads have been the only thing to eat. And ice-cream.

It’s been so hot that Burg has a party atmosphere. People are jollier than the Professor of Jolly at Oxford University.

It’s been so hot that I’ve seen loads of friends, eaten lovely food, paddled in a brook, watched my kids wave sticks at pinatas, lounged on a rug under the shade of a large umbrella, enjoyed a braai at home, strolled into town and walked home with an armful of roses as a present for myself and a new vase to put them in. Best of all, on the way to and from the supermarket, I rolled down the window of my car and played Bob Marley and the Wailers loudly for the benefit of all humankind.

Every little thing IS going to be alright.


Author: charlotteotter

Novelist, feminist, crime writer

12 thoughts on “Today Charlotte Will be Modelling …

  1. Its nice to know that at least some places in the northern hemisphere are having some hot weather! We had a mostly glorious day here yesterday, but today it was back to yet more rain. Talking about the weather, of late, has changed from being a national obsession, to something seemingly more pathological, so dismal has it been for the time of year.

    What’s the lemon beer you mentioned? I bought a bottle while in Berlin, and though it wasn’t unpleasant, it was a bit sickly-sweet after all the weissbier and schwarzbier I was used to having.

    Nice touch about the Bob Marley tune 🙂

  2. I love Bob Marley!

    A friend emailed me the other day to say it was hot where he’s at as well. So hot in fact, that the chickens are laying boiled eggs!

  3. Trousers, here at Charlotte’s Web I have been drinking Becks’ Green Lemon Beer. It’s low in alk, very tasty and less sweet than a shandy. My husband hates it.

    Hi Charlotte! It’s so hot here, that if I had a chicken it would be laying boiled eggs.

  4. Today was hot, but a storm just came through to cool things off … so I’m sending cool breezes your way!

  5. my goodness–reading your post made ME feel like I’m in a heat wave! (And I live in generally balmy Berkeley/San Francisco, where the fog rolls in nearly every summer evening).

  6. Waah! It’s not hot here! It’s raining and thundering!

    Charlotte – you tormentor you!

    (It was hot enough for my retired neighbour to greet me in his underpants at the door yesterday evening. Ahem!)

  7. hey charlotte, it’s scorching here in cologne. we had 30 °C at ten in the morning, but thunderstorms are supposed to start tonight.
    this is actually the only weather i enjoy to drink beer in, and i love becks green lemon.
    and you’re the second person to cite that tune to me today. weird.

  8. Happy that you’re hot. Now I can post about our sunny, winter long weekend at the Breede River without hearing anguished cries penetrating the stratosphere all the way from Germany!

  9. It’s hot here, too (I’m visiting the office today and tomorrow. Don’t know what it’s doing at home today).

  10. It’s hot here too, but it sounds so much more festive there. Expect us soon with a case of Hoegaarden and a bag of lemons!

  11. It’s 90F (with who knows how high a heat index) here in the good ole American south. I just walked outside for a minute and the heat hit me like a giant blow-dryer. Bob Marley is a good way to “chill out.”

  12. Let me guess, you drink Lemon bier only because it’s got lemons in it. Am I right? 😉

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