Charlotte's Web

Blogging my world since 2006

The Sun Is Wearing a Very Small Hat


The sun has come out. May I mention that again? The sun is shining, and is predicted to continue doing so for the whole weekend, which is a good thing, seeing we have to attend an (outdoor) summer party tomorrow and host an (outdoor) braai in our garden on Sunday. Sun is a Good Thing. Especially here in Germany, where it has been raining and grey and COLDER THAN WINTER IN SOUTH AFRICA for the last six weeks.

It has just dawned on me that the lack of sun for the last six weeks is the reason why I have been so out of sorts. I didn’t mention it here, for various reasons:

1) I’m not good at mentioning depression while I’m having it. Only after the fact.

2) While there are some things I can share with the whole damn world, I don’t always like to share that I’m stuck inside with three kids, rain outside, piles of washing to put away, too many DVDs being watched and me working my way through the children’s sweet tin. Only after the fact.

3) I like to present my happy, smiley face to the world. With a hat on.

I often don’t even know I’m out of sorts, until afterwards. Then I look back and realise why I started seven books and couldn’t finish them, forgot to put the bins out, ate too much chocolate, started a diet, became unable to blog anything other than memes, wasted time watching crap movies like Elizabethtown, neglected all household responsibilities, became very slow and began a list of reasons why I disliked myself.

I blame the weather. I was SAD of course. Very, very sad. And with the sun starting to shine, with wearing a skirt instead of jeans, with kids in T-shirts and sandals, with some promise of Vitamin D, I am feeling BETTER. I have sunglasses at the ready, I am eating salads, I may even be able to take my kids to a playground this afternoon.

I don’t have this problem; unlike many Germans I find pale interesting, but just a little bit of sun is going to do me a lot of good.

I may even become bouncy.



Author: charlotteotter

Novelist, feminist, crime writer

14 thoughts on “The Sun Is Wearing a Very Small Hat

  1. I’m so glad the sun is out. I would hate for you to ever start – or finish – a list of reasons why you dislike yourself.

    Bring on the sun, the hats, the outdoor events, and the sunscreen!

  2. Although it’s still a bit damp and chilly here I’ve got my shorts and a t-shirt on in anticipation of tomorrow’s 30°C temperatures. We’ll see if Mother Nature delivers.

    I know how you feel – I’ve been VERY out of sorts lately and a bit of sun would do us all a lot of good, I think.

  3. Oh I so agree with you. I have been utterly miserable for weeks too and then this morning the sun was out and suddenly I felt alive again. I also didn’t realise I felt so glum. And I’ve also started a bunch of books and been unable to get on with them.

    Happy weekend!

  4. When sadness, pain, anger, or tension suddenly dissipates, how blissful life is. I was at the physiotherapists the other day and suddenly the block (tension) in my neck was gone. What an unbelievable feeling. Free. Flight. Giddiness.

    When the sun shines, this happens as well. I won’t ask you to send any of your precious sun rays up our way, but please send a prayer that we will also be lifted from this cold and rainy summer.

  5. That happens to me all the time… I get grouchy, then a few weeks later realize, “Hey, I was depressed” and there is often a weather component. That is one of the reasons we moved to Colorado: at least 300 sunny days per year!

  6. Charlotta, happiness has arrived and the list has been discarded. No more gloom.

    Christina, I think we’re meant to gather lots of Vitamin D in these sunny months to see us through winter, and we just haven’t been getting enough. I hope that tomorrow is better for you too.

    Wendz, pleased to know I’m not alone/going mad. Hope France has a gorgeous sunny weekend for you.

    Lia, some sun for you and some for me. Glad to hear that you have found relief.

    Yogamum, when we lived briefly in the US we were very attracted by Colorado for that very reason. I am a blue sky girl. I hope my travels take me there some day.

  7. I get the blahs when it’s cold and grey, too, but fortunately, we don’t have much of that where I live.

    A list of what you dislike about yourself! I hope now you’ll counteract that with a nice list of what’s wonderful about you. What we say to ourselves can have a big effect!

  8. I am dependent upon the sun for mood enhancement. So much so, that when I lived in wet and rainy Germany my man encouraged me to get one of those electric sun machines to help me feel better. Instead, I just moved. Sunny California is good for me, literally!

  9. I can relate to this post so much. And laundry… I realised the other day that I was in the middle of a mental debate with myself about having a second child and was thinking about the baby solely in terms of how much washing it would bring. I thought to myself: “Hmmm, is that normal? Probably not – but it’s realistic!!” I hope you’re feeling loads better.

  10. I didn’t realise, until I lived further north for two years and was exposed to much more sunlight during winter, why I get so sad and depressed during our dull, grey days. Now I try to grab a little bit of sunshine whenever I can. Instant mood brightener.

    I’m glad for you that the sun has promised to come out and play. I hope it sticks around.

  11. So glad to hear the sun is out, and it’s making you happy. I hope it puts on a bigger hat and stays out until you’re punch drunk on life.

  12. Yes, the weather’s been terrible here, too. So glad that you are feeling better now and can quite understand the sun-related lows. It’s rather good of you though, not to mention it until after the event. I have been known to bitch and whine even when predicting a slump….

  13. The sun finally made an appearance here. There’s nothing like having it rain during one’s tenure in a mental ward to make you a little extra depressed.

    Ah well. Now i’m burnt and crispy.

  14. i very much react to the weather, too. sadly, you don’t don’t get much tolerance from people if you’re grumpy because of those endless rainy grey periods.
    oh, and yes, it’s always easier to talk about depression afterwards. people have accused me of always putting on a happy face for them, but that’s not the point. i just don’t feel like talking about it. for me talking about depression doesn’t feel relieving, it only gets me deeper into it.
    but now the sun is doing it’s best to bring a smile on everybody’s face and what’s happening is that people are grunting and sweating and bitching about the heat and the humidity … never can do it right. i enjoy it.

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