It’s all light and frothy here at Charlotte’s Web at the moment. A bit of prosecco to compensate for the seriously chewy shiraz of my real life. This is a meme invented by Emily, which I’m taking up.
The Fictional Character Meme
1. Which fictional character frightens you the most?
Probably the teenage murderer in We Need to Talk About Kevin. Unfettered by any moral imperatives, he is subtle enough to play one parent off against the other. Scheming, clever, manipulative, he traps and then individually hunts his victims in cold blood. It’s extremely scary stuff.
2. Which fictional parents do you most wish you had?
I’m totally in love with Mr and Mrs Darling of JM Barrie’s Peter Pan. The way they let their kids have a dog for a nanny is so adorable. They wring their hands and blame themselves when the children fly out of the window to Neverland (he even voluntarily moves into the dog kennel as punishment), but they don’t blame each other or start any mud-slinging. They are too cute: he foolish but lovable, she fragrant and forgiving.
3. Which fictional character has the most balls?
Owen Meany. A dwarf with a strangely squeaky voice, he believes he is God’s instrument on earth and that one day, his moment will come. He never suffers from self-doubt, despite accidentally killing his best friend’s mother and having to play the Baby Jesus in the church pageant at the age of eleven. He dies a hero, saving Vietnamese war orphans from a hand grenade thrown by a menacing 15-year-old, much like Kevin, above.
4. To which fictional character’s home would you most like to be invited for dinner?
5. If you could invite three fictional couples to your own house for dinner, who would they be?
Inspector Lynley and Sergeant Barbara Havers for their verbal sparring and chilling tales of murder; Precious Ramotswe and Mr J.L.B. Matekoni for their gentle Botswanan charm; Othello and Desdemona for their general fabulousness.
6. Which fictional character could probably entice you into his/her bed?
Mr Darcy, especially if he really does look like Colin Firth.
7. Which fictional character would most likely have broken your heart?
Oh Heathcliffe definitely – dark, brooding and unable to talk about his emotions.
8. In which fictional character’s home would you most like to live?
Brideshead Castle, for glamour, decadence and lots of servants.