Scenes from a Diary

I came across my diary from July 1999, when I was expecting my first child. Never mind gestating a baby, I think I was a blogger waiting to be born:

“Waiting in the Tesco’s car park for Thomas to do the groceries. I went in with him, but after a couple of minutes of retching, gave up and on his suggestion came and sat outside. I am having much better days generally, but now and then am assailed by smells, combined with not having enough food in my stomach, and start to feel grim. The answer is constant eating (grazing).”

…

“Thomas must be buying the whole shop: he’s still in there! I wonder what he’s getting for supper. Food is a major focus at the moment: how does it look, how does it smell, do I feel like it, what do I feel like, I felt like that yesterday but don’t today. My main desire is for very bland nursery-style food, so things like mashed potatoes rank really high.”

…

“STILL no sign of Thomas. Could he be lost among the dairy products? He’s bought a lot of cheese lately, so maybe we’re getting some more. LONG PAUSE. There he is, looking dapper in his blue suit.”

…

“Right now, I’m making my second attempt to read Salman Rushdie’s “The Ground Beneath her Feet”, which I am finding intensely irritating. He is so intent on being clever. It is very tedious: laboured classical and literary references dropped in like bricks to spoil the narrative. I keep wanting to throw it across the room.”

…

“I have lost interest in work completely. While I am happy to earn money (furniture for the new home, minature Baby Gap items), I no longer find what I am doing particularly interesting or exciting. Baby Otter, you have taken over my life. I can’t wait to meet you, little darling. We are so excited that you have chosen to share our lives. Bless you, our little angel.”

Children, food, books. Not much has changed in ten years.

Around the World in 80 Clicks

Here’s a cool blog experiment. Catherine of Her Bad Mother teamed up with her friend David to see if it is possible to traverse the world finding mothers who blog in 80 clicks. Their other aim was to find out if mothers raising children in different places have different perspectives. Kit, who was tagged by Poppy Fields, tagged me. I have to list five things I enjoy about motherhood, and then link to five other mothers who blog, preferably in far-flung lands.

Five Things I Enjoy About Motherhood:

1. The on-demand kiss and cuddle service that my kids provide.

2. Learning to bake. The days of the bought-in birthday cake are gone. The birthday cakes here don’t look as perfect but they taste damn good. And even better, Lily has now learnt to bake, so I don’t have to.

3. Fulsome compliments. Daisy: “Mummy you are the best!”. Lily: “I love you even more than cheese.” Ollie: “Mummy is Fabian’s mummy as beautiful as you?”

4. The feeling that I am building the foundations for three friendships with three fabulous grown-ups. The time that we spend together is so much fun and is only going to get better. I mean they already read (some of them), are not scared of a hike, can be taken to restaurants, converse reasonably at mealtimes, do yoga, like safaris, enjoy a bike ride, happily hang out in bookshops, have great senses of humour and enjoy travelling. In sixteen years time, we’ll be doing all that, plus having a glass of wine together. I look forward to it!

5. The things I have learnt about myself: that I am not as patient as I once fondly imagined, that I can handle only a certain amount of chaos before I crack, that I really, really like good manners, that almost anything goes as long as it is said in a pleasant voice, that I love reading aloud but am bored to tears by Lego, that I don’t mind wearing unironed clothes, that I can tune out fighting but not whining, that I change personality when I don’t get enough sleep, that I actively worry about fruit and veg intake, and that I plan never to sing another nursery rhyme until I am a grandmother.

And now I tag Helen (Australia), Lizzy (Pakistan), Lynn (New Zealand), Lady Fi (Sweden) and Rae (India). If you comment on the original post, you’ll be included in the round-up here.

I’d Like to Thank My Mother

It’s award season here at Charlotte’s Web. While I’d like to say I’ve been styled and primped to within an inch of my life, I am sitting here in my pyjamas wrapped in a big fleece blankie. But that’s the cool thing about blogging – you can accept awards from the sofa, without having to go much further than the fridge for the next snack.

My first award is from the ever-amusing Ms Honeypiehorse, who I’m dying to meet since I believe she is just like me, only taller, blonder and funnier. She’s given me the lemonade award for great attitude, which I’m loving since I do try to be just a little bit perky. Here it is:

Isn’t it cute?

And I would like to thank my mother, since I have learned it all from her, all the glass half-full, stay away from toxic people, you can do anything you put your mind to, it’s all about the journey stuff that keeps me going. She has been a firm influence in my life and I am so pleased to count her as one of my favourite people in the whole world. Toni, I raise my glass of freshly-pressed lemonade to you.

I get to pass the award on. Excuse me while I go and have a browse in my feedreader.

I’m back! Still wearing the blankie, though.

1. The first award goes to Diana, with her beautiful smile, and completely enviable haircut. Diana’s attitude through recent sorrow – and indeed throughout her long blogging career – is nothing short of remarkable. Pour yourself a glass of lemonade, Ms Martinis for Two. I know you will receive this award more appropriately dressed than me.

2. The next glass of lemonade is for Rae of Journey Mama, who recently relocated to Goa, India with her superstar husband and three small children (a fourth joined them shortly afterwards). Rae faces life with the most incredible attitude, and I have been loving her gratitude posts, which remind me daily to be grateful for what I have.

3. Ms Musings from the Sofa is my kind of girl, all about the books and the shoes. While she lives in the US, she has retained her dark British humour which peppers all her musings. I just know that you’ll drink your glass of lemonade while wearing vertiginous high heels, Ms M, and probably also flicking through an erudite tome.

4. Lia of the Yum Yum Cafe was my first BTRL (Blog to Real Life) friend. I love her attitude, which is thoughtful, engaging and resilient. Lia is an aficionado of European cafe society, and apart from teaching me how to appreciate a great cup of tea, she has also taught me to cherish my writing time and space.

5. P of Life is Just One Big Adventure is a RLTB (Real Life to Blog) friend. She is new to blogging, and I am sending her this long tall glass of lemonade as a welcome to the blogosphere. You have fabulous attitude, dear P, and it shines through in your life and in your blog. I am so glad you are my friend!

Folks, if you can bear it, the love-fest ain’t over yet, for the lovely Kit – who I am about to meet in Cape Town for the first time ever – also sent me an award. This one is for being fabulous! My blankie and I accept the award graciously, for fabulosity is one of our aims. The award looks like this:

Before I pass it on to fabulous others, I have to list my five fabulous addictions. (A list! Hooray!) Here goes:

1. Dresses. For someone who mostly wears jeans and lives in a country where the sun shines for about two months of the year, I own a silly amount of dresses. When it comes to dresses, I am weak-willed. I cannot resist a good one. One day I have will do a dress post so that you can see just how addicted I am.

2. Foolish shoes. I have had a lifetime’s love for foolish shoes – pointy, high-heeled ones that give me blisters and make me walk like a donkey. Ditto the dress post for the shoe post. I live in my Chucks, but gosh do I love those heels.

3. Low-carb eating. Am a convert. Eating, feeling full and Not Having Any Sugar Cravings For the First Time in My Life. I don’t need to say any more.

4. Champagne, sparkling wine, Sekt – really any form of wine with bubbles – preferably drunk at breakfast-time. Lends the day a certain je ne sais quoi.

5. Books! I might not be eating sugar, but I am always hungry for more books.

On that note, I think I will deliver the Fabulous Award to five book-bloggers. Please go on to share the award with others. Here goes:

1. Pete of the Couch Trip. Like me, Pete throws some life into his book blogging. He hails from my favourite African city and never fails to be intelligent and interesting, especially in his field, psychology. I believe that boys can be fabulous too, and Pete, you certainly are.

2. Emily, who claims not to be a book blogger but so is. You are fabulous in every way!

3. One of the blogosphere’s most dedicated book bloggers is the fabulous Litlove. Every post is a seminar, radiant with intelligence and generosity of spirit.

4. Helen of A was Alarmed is completely fabulous, in her writing about writing, books and the escapades of her small son.

5. And the final nominee of this evening is BlogLily, whose blog shines with fabulosity.

Well, that’s a wrap then. The blankie is mewling and wants to be put to bed, and I really, really should stop drinking champagne. These after-parties can get quite out of hand.

Happy Birthday, dear Blog

It’s my blog’s birthday today. Three years of mind burps, fairytales, rants and soul-revealing. Three years of making friends (some of whom I’ve now actually met). Three years of laughing at the Germans (Germans, I love you, truly I do, but sometimes you are funny. I mean who else would call a hair salon “Hairkillers”? Or a ladies’ evening “Ladydinner”?). Despite trying to bring you depth and resonance (you know, because I’m like that), I find that my top three posts are about Valentine’s Day, cakes and children’s birthdays. And the top three search engine terms that brought people here are “charlotte’s web”, “writing strengths” and “lemon drizzle cake”. Which goes to show that when it comes to blogging, you don’t always know it all.

I have not strayed from my initial blogging goals, which were to write regularly, to aim for quality over quantity and to avoid topics like the laundry, my latest head-cold or why I haven’t been blogging lately. I don’t believe in making excuses, but when I do post, I try to make it worth your while. I also aim to be positive rather than negative, so while I love reading biting snark, I don’t really snark myself (unless it’s to do with the Germans).

So, dear readers, on this third anniversary of my blogging life, I hand it over to you. Tell me what you like best about Charlotte’s Web, and in future I will try to oblige.

PS Happy Birthday to my blog-twin, Dorothy.

Hold This Space

You may have noticed some inactivity here. I think I am suffering blog fatigue – I have been blogging for almost three years now and seem to have run out of voomah. It’s not through lack of things to write about. I am reading widely, trying to finish the first draft of my novel, am poised to return home to South Africa for the first time in three years for a dream holiday, and am living life to the full.

I am going to take some time off, so expect sporadic, and possibly no, posting for a few weeks. I will still be visiting blogs and commenting when I’m moved to, but I feel the time has come to take a break. Thank you to everyone who visits here – I really appreciate your support, and I hope that when I do return it is with my usual energy and verve. (Right now, I am channelling that verve into losing my Winterspeck and dreaming about Robberg Beach and seeing all my darling South African friends and family.)

And if you would like to know what I will be getting up to in the coming weeks, one of the highlights of the Burg’s calendar is the Sommertagszug, where we banish winter and welcome in summer. My kids will taking part in the procession and a teacher roped me in last night to help with crafting the costumes (oh, little does she know). Instead of writing here, I will be making giant butterfly wings. You can understand quite how much fun that is.

Until I return, I wish you all well. May the blogging muse continue to visit you, and thank you for being consistently brilliant, funny and well-written. You still make my day.

His Reputation Proceeds Him

My husband went to San Francisco this week to brief a company, who paid all kinds of money for him to be there and included the ultimate of carrots: a business-class ticket. When he walked into the meeting, filled with people whom he had never met before, someone asked him, “Aren’t you Germany’s Top Husband?”

It was my blog-pal Miss Honeypiehorse, over from Munich to attend the meeting.

The Commenters’ Meme

First Jeanne did it. Then Sol did it (and tagged me). Then Aphra did it. Now I’m doing it and I think you should do it, especially if you are doing NaBloPoMo, are locked into an insane 31-day cycle of daily blog posting and are looking for something to post today. Consider it my gesture of support.

The rules:

1. List the last 10 commenters on your blog.

2. If you’re on the list, you’re tagged.

The list:

1. (un)relaxeddad of Relaxed Parents

2. Emily of Telecommuter Talk

3. honeypiehorse of Our Feet are the Same

4. Jen of Jen’s Den of Iniquity

5. Jeanne of Cook Sister! (you don’t have to do it again, Jeanne)

6. Pete of Couch Trip

7. Natalian of Twaddle and Twak

8. Amity of Noble Savage

9. Ian of Letters Home

10. Lisa of Lisa’s Words at Play

Now for the questions:

1. What’s your favourite post from number 3’s blog?

Oh this one, without a doubt. It made me laugh (exploding potatoes! wobbly towers! rude Germans!) and made me feel better about the craziness that happens in my home. Laura is a new blogger – an American living in Bavaria, with her German husband and two children – so please go and shower her with some bloggy love.

2. Has number 10 taken any pictures that moved you?

Funnily enough, Lisa has just been on holiday to the shores of Oregon and taken some lovely moody seascapes, but my favourite picture – which did move me – was that of her hotel bed bestrewn with the pages of her manuscript. It made me look forward to the moment when I print mine out and start going through it. You can see the sea in the picture, as well as Lisa’s tiny and adorable dog nestling in the bedcovers, but it’s the atmosphere of creative work being done that I love. It’s a great picture.

3. Does number 6 reply to comments on his blog?

The fabulous Pete? You betcha!

4. Which part of blogland is number 2 from?

I’d say Emily has carved out her own unique space. She always says she’s not a book blogger, and would love to be, but when she posts about books it’s interesting and insightful. Emily is a little like me in that she won’t be categorised as a certain kind of blogger, and reserves the right to publish on whatsoever she chooses, but the consistent thing about is that she’s always funny. Go right now and read her Alcoholic Meme – the mint juleps! I want some! P.S. Only 4 days till I actually meet Emily. I wonder if there will be cocktails?

5. If you could give one piece of advice to number 7, what would it be?

Spread your love around! You are such a great blogger, and your blog deserves some attention. Go visit people and leave comments. They will politely return the favour and you will make some wonderful blog friends.

6. Have you ever tried something from number 9’s blog?

The lovely Ian is a repository of travel stories, insights into Germany and great recipes. I took his advice on how to deal with a weird Chinese blogger who was completely lifting my blog word-for-word and posting on his site. I have also heeded his example, and tried to ride my bike more.

7. Has number 1 blogged something that inspired you?

Yes, his encyclopaedic knowledge of music. See his Patti Smith post here. Don’t give up on the NaBlos, U-Dad, we need more music posts!

8. How often do you comment on number 4’s blog?

Frequently. I love Jen’s take on life and what she writes chimes with me.

9. Do you wait for number 8 to post excitedly?

I don’t like to put pressure on Amity since she has a new baby, but I do love it when she posts. She’s honest, combatative and funny.

10. How did number 5’s blog change your life?

The Cook Sister rules! Jeanne is the most dedicated blogger – every post is well-researched, well-written, usually funny, always informative. Although her main focus is food, she has an over-arching world-view that informs everything. She’s the poster child for high-quality blogging and has been the deserving recipient of multiple blogging awards. She has inspired me to aim for quality writing and not insult people with the “I picked my nose today” type of posts that you see all over the blogosphere. She also gave me the recipe that forms the basis of my Just So Easy Afro-Teutonic Beer Bread. Thanks to Jeanne, I bake bread and that’s life-changing in and of itself.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to pack for New York.

It’s not easy, but someone’s got to do it.

I Love Your Blog

Many thanks to Jeanne of the wonderful Cook Sister! blog who gave me this award:

And now I have to pass it on. The rules are:

1) Add the logo of the award to your blog.
2) Add a link to the person who awarded it to you (as shown above).
3) Nominate at least seven other blogs.
4) Add links to those blogs on your blog.

I want to spread the love but how the hell who to choose? I have 144 blogs on my feed reader – writer’s blogs, book blogs, mummy blogs, food blogs, feminist blogs, literary agents’ blogs. There are bloggers who have been with me since Day One, and new bloggers who I love. Many have become my friends, and we have made the effort to meet up.

So I decided to honour the six bloggers who I am meeting in New York in a couple of weeks’ time for a fabulous day of eating, walking and bookshop-visiting. Two live in the city but the rest are travelling from further afield to be there. My soon-to-be-met blogger friends are:

1. Emily of Telecommuter Talk

2. Dorothy of Of Books and Bicycles

3. Hobb of The Hobgoblin of Little Minds

4. Cam of Cam’s Commentary

5. Becky of Musings from the Sofa

6. ZoesMom

I love your blogs and I look forward to meeting you all!

I haven’t forgotten number seven. This goes to the blogger who nearly made it to the NY meet-up:

7. Courtney of The Public, the Private and Everything In Between. I love your blog too!

PS. I’ve just noticed that this is my 400th post. That’s a lorra lorra writing.

Guess the Lie

One of these points is a lie. Guess which one it is:

(Oh, and don’t read this if you are eating, about to eat or have just eaten. I thought I should warn you.)

1. Last night I went out for dinner in Heidelberg.

2. I met Ash in Amsterdam, who I have known via our blogs for nearly two years, and she is just as fabulous as I imagined.

3. I recognised her the minute I saw her, but we nearly didn’t meet because she and her partner couldn’t find the restaurant and I, as usual, didn’t have my phone on me.

4. After dinner, we decided to show Ash and M the underworld of Heidelberg and progressed to the Untergasse, a street of bars and restaurants.

5. My husband’s favourite bar, Destille, was full with groups of people spilling out onto the street. There were at least four stag and hen parties celebrating there. The atmosphere was lively.

6. We were standing outside, holding our drinks and chatting, when I felt something warm splash against my legs.

7. I looked and it was vomit! My legs and my gorgeous pink satin shoes were splashed with puke!

8. I turned to see who had done it. It was a guy wearing a “Germany’s Next Top Husband” T-shirt. He wiped his mouth, turned back to his group, which included a guy wearing a backpack, and carried on drinking.

9. I said to Ash, “Germany’s Next Top Husband just puked on my legs. I am so blogging this.” We laughed. Then we left.

10. When we got home, my darling husband sponged another man’s vomit off my pink satin shoes, even though he doesn’t like them and would prefer to see them confined to the bin. Clearly I am already married to Germany’s Top Husband.

**** Edited to add ****

Number 8 is the lie! The person who puked on my legs and shoes was the guy in the backpack, but you can’t spoil a good story and it HAD to be Germany’s Next Top Husband. I am a journalist after all. Also, I might add that Ash caught some of it on her shoes and trousers, so we are now blog sisters – puked on during our first-ever meeting.

Summer Miscellany

It’s the summer holidays and blogging is going to be sporadic here well into September. I just have a few completely unrelated things to say:

• Going to Paris for the weekend with an eight-year-old and a six-year-old and the charming godmother of the latter was a lot of fun, but my heart lies in Berlin.
• My home town was mentioned on BBC News online today. See here how the dorp is famous.
• I am in mourning since finishing the box set of Sex and the City, but I am looking forward to visiting New York in November where I plan to lunch, wear ridiculously high heels and drink Manhattans.
• I am excited about meeting someone off my blogroll this weekend. I love it when online and real life collide.
• I am planning, if my stars allow and the hemispheres are correctly aligned, to have an hour free to do some sport tomorrow.
• I am waiting for a very special baby to be born.
• I am reading Thirteen Moons by Charles Frazier and it is brilliant.
• I did an unsupported head-stand in yoga tonight and the endorphins are still charging.
• I met a dear friend from Cape Town in Paris this weekend and was happy to see her and her lovely children.
• I am addicted to Scrabulous. Anyone want to play?

With thanks to Ms Make Tea for the loan of her bullet points.