Charlotte's Web

Charlotte Otter – novelist, feminist, crime writer

Royal Duties

13 Comments

Today, the Queen and Princess went to France. It was gruelling.

First of all, the Fairy Godmother collected them in her navy limousine, forgetting that both the Queen and the Princess prefer to travel in silver vehicles. However, they were able to forgive her because the back of her limousine is strewn with red velvet heart-shaped cushions – perfect for a little light napping. The Fairy Godmother drove the whole way to France, without forgetting the way once.

On arrival in France, the Queen and Princess were forced to sip hot French coffee and – wait for it – nibble on crusty little croissants. Then they went unto the shopping portals, which are, it must be said, far far better than the portals of Pietermaritzburg. They swished from shop to shop in their gowns, occasionally purchasing an item (the Fairy Godmother had to carry their bags, and the money) or rejecting one on the basis of not being up to royal standard.

After much swishing and shopping, the Fairy Godmother insisted it was time to sit down and partake of victuals. Having placed the Royal Family in the prime spot in the tavern of her choice, she proceeded to feed them buckwheat pancakes of various flavours, followed by dessert crepes of fruity deliciousness. The Queen called royally for the finest wines known to humanity, but the Fairy Godmother shushed her, saying only cider was served at the tavern. The Queen was somewhat surprised to be served her cider in a tea-cup, but she enjoyed it nevertheless.

Once refuelled, the Royals and their loyal attendant swept out into the streets of France for more touching, oohing, jumping up and down with excited little shrieks. Between the three of them, they gathered more bags. Finally, after a sit-down and a loo-stop, they felt it was time to say farewell to France and travel to Germany in Fairy’s limousine.

“But, I have a treat for you, dear Royals,” cried the Fairy Godmother. “Before we leave France, I wish to swish you through the Enormous French Supermarket where we can treats made by artisans in hovels and other treats made in food factories.”

So the Queen, the Princess and the Fairy Godmother visited the Enormous French Supermarket where the citizenry were gathered in their droves, purchasing and partaking of treats. The Queen and her daughter fell upon the following treats:

Violet-flavoured yoghurts
Almond-flavoured yoghurts
Saucisson (for the Prince)
Chocolate chip cookies (for the little Princesses and the Princeling)
Dijon mustard
Sirop de Citron Vert
Red wine, clearly the finest known to humanity
Breads

and many other products not always available to the good burghers of Germany.

They had a delightful day, and retired to bed, happy in the knowledge that, once more, they had fulfilled their royal duties.

Please admire …

photo-662.jpg

…….. the Royal Pump.

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Author: charlotteotter

Novelist, feminist, crime writer

13 thoughts on “Royal Duties

  1. I’m so jealous that you can just hop over and spend the day in France!!! Shopping of all things.
    Sounds like a day truly fit for royalty. Also, love the pumps.

  2. oh, I miss the days of traveling in the Fairy Godmother’s limousine to dearest France… sounds like you are keeping up the tradition in royal style.

  3. What the royal family really needs to do to enjoy the real thing in terms of galettes, crêpes and cidre, is to climb abord that silvery snake at Strasbourg, dash to Paris in the blink of an eye, then another magic fast carriage on rails to Brittanny, the kingdom of crêpes (and the cradle of my ancestry).

  4. Poor Royal Family, so grueling — all that shopping and eating!

    Now I’m trying to imagine what violet-flavored yogurt tastes like.

  5. I bet violet-flavoured yoghurt tastes like parma violets. I loved those sweets when I was young.

    Wah, I want to go to a decent supermarket right now! (Oh, and France too!)

  6. That all sounds amazing and I don’t mind telling you, I’m a little jealous!

    Oh, and how cute are the shoes? They are beautimous.

  7. Oh your life sounds so terrifically………European! Sigh, and here I sit, in Souf Efrica ;-)

  8. Where did you go? Strasbourg?

    I miss the French shops something awful. I mean, UK shops are wonderful too and there IS a huge variety of goods here…too much I think..but there’s something so fabulous about French food.

  9. oh, i’m so jealous. i always need stuff i can only buy in french supermarkets, like pancake flour, pizza oil, mediterranean sea salt and a special kind of brühwürfel. sorry, i have no idea what a brühwürfel is. you explain, princess.
    sounds like you had fun! good you’re enjoying your time with the queen and the fairy godmother.

  10. Alida, I am very lucky! France for the day, if we so choose. It’s one of the huge advantages of living in Europe.

    Dear Ms Tesha, we missed you and toasted you in cider, coffee and grapefruit juice. We also visited many of your favourite shops, including the dangerous one.

    Mandarine, I don’t know how my family persuaded me to go to Tuscany in August when all, ALL, I wanted to do was go to Brittany and eat galettes for two weeks. I shall have to work harder.

    Henitserk, it was mauve. But good.

    Helen, yes I believe it did. And there is nothing like a French supermarket for fabulous treats.

    Thanks, Ms Marmite. They are very good for the vertically challenged like us. Though I see from today’s post you are not afraid of a tottering heel yourself.

    Wendz, it was the lovely Strasbourg. I love having it virtually on my doorstep.

    Bine, I think a brühwürfel is a stock cube. And yes, we’re having a good time.

  11. Oh, jealousy! Almond flavoured yogurts. Still, the red wine we can get. At four times the price…I do like Strasbourg – we must do a family weekend once we’re through the exciting early stages with Incoming.

  12. Oh, your day sounds marvellous. And the new Royal shoes are lovely.

  13. Ooooh, I love those shoes! This sounds a lot like the kind of trip to France I make – lots of shopping! And our last stop is always the supermache where we stock up on red wine, fleur de sel, saucisson sec, haricot beans and green lentils. Mmmmmm!

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