Comments on: What Women Want

By: karrie

karrie — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 10:44:12 +0000

Thank you for sharing this post Charlotte. There is a tendency among many of us in the US to idealize Western European policies, so it is interesting to learn that there are still problems. I had no idea about the hot lunch issue, as an example.

I love your guerilla action plan. How has that played out in the months since you wrote this?

By: Peter

Peter — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 00:27:21 +0000

Very interesting, On the ball hoho. Happy New year, take Care.
P

By: rachel

rachel — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 20:05:42 +0000

if your a big brother, your a continent of hope!

By: workathome

workathome — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 07:42:09 +0000

workathome workathome

By: Charlotte’s Web » Blog Archive » 10 Things I Love About Germany

Charlotte’s Web » Blog Archive » 10 Things I Love About Germany — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 21:47:33 +0000

[...] Family and children are very important in German society. The birth-rate is dropping here for reasons I explain elsewhere so kids get a lot of attention. When Ollie was a newborn in a pram I couldn’t get from home to kindergarten without being stopped by an assortment of grannies and neighbours who wanted to admire him, discuss his feeding and sleeping habits in detail and mention that he had a runny nose and perhaps his feet were cold. Children are welcomed and their idiosyncrasies are expected. They are allowed to be children and are not required to be strange little over-polite mini-adults. This means they can sometimes be hard to tolerate, but I like a society that welcomes childishness. There is also enormous kindness to children: when I go into town with my kids, I never have to worry about giving them a snack first because I know we will come out from the grocer’s with a piece of fruit she’s given them, from the bioladen with an organic biscuit and from the butcher’s with a lovely piece of … [...]

By: charlotteotter

charlotteotter — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 20:27:21 +0000

Thanks for your comment! Feel free to make more … You’re right, the stay-at-home dads do get ignored. There aren’t many in my little town in Germany, but there is one dad I know who works part-time, collects his kids from the same kindergarten as mine and then does lunch and the afternoon activities. We bump into them often and he is unselfconsciously friendly and chatty.

By: Anna F

Anna F — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 20:17:26 +0000

You have incited my first ever blog response!! (Very exciting – well, for me anyway.) Just wanted to add a small mention of men staying at home to look after the kids. I met my first stay-at-home dad the other day and I realised for the first time how shockingly sexist us women can be! The poor man takes his children to music lessons, tumble tots, playgroups, swimming lessons and it is very rare that any mother to speak to him. He excuses our behaviour, believing that most women think that he is just a temporary fixture – looking after the kids whilst mum is away somewhere – and so don’t make the effort to speak to him. Then, when they realise he’s a regular, they feel it’s a little late to make the effort. So, my little guerrilla step is to make sure I speak to every man (or woman come to that) looking after their brood because, with this job, we all need the support and company of others.

By: emma C

emma C — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 05:55:31 +0000

Charl I love your guerrilla step. I think I may become a sniper.. It makes me so cross when you hear that ‘combining family and career’ is a female thing. Here in good old Tschormany it gives the impression of being the latest daring step towards female emancipation. Goddamit, it’s not a female issue, it is just an issue.

By: charlotteotter

charlotteotter — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 11:13:46 +0000

AB – you’re right, there’s no right way. As long as children get consistency and love, they are fine. I like the sound of your childhood. I grew up in the same town as all my grandparents and saw them weekly, and one of the sadnesses in my life is that my kids’ grandparents are a continent away.
Litlove – that anxiety and hostility is what I’m picking up on in the ‘Mummy Wars’ literature. People are anxious about their choices, and then hostile to others as a result. I would like people to be proud of their choices and not judge others.
Funkmeister, thanks for lending a father’s voice. It’s very welcome. Whether parents go out work or stay home, sacrifices get made, don’t they? My working friends feel they’re losing time with their kids, and my stay-at-home friends feel they’re sacrificing the rewards of a career.
Litlove, that perfection thing is a killer. Luckily, I found as our family has grown that I’ve learnt to release my desire for perfection. Accepting some mess means I have some time free to draw with my kids, or take them to the pool – there’s just no choice is there?

By: bloglily

bloglily — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 23:37:43 +0000

I so agree — there’s no right way to do this, and we should all stick together. Children can thrive in so many situations. Maybe some of the difficulty is the increasing pressure toward perfection in childrearing (at least where i live). Because that’s not possible, it makes people nervous around each other, eying other choices, thinking, “hmm, how come I’m not [doing competitive scottish dance, teaching my children to make puff pastry, coming home earlier...] I’m tone of the worst offenders, perfectionista that I am; but my fortunately my boys just won’t let me get away with it. Messy house, messy life, pretty happy most of the time.