Breaking News

Breaking my long-term blog silence (motto: don’t apologise, don’t explain) with this amazing breaking news of a traditional wedding that took place recently in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. The happy couple are men and theirs is the first traditional African gay wedding in KZN.

Says Tshepo Modisane:

“We decided on a traditional wedding not only to keep in line with our customs and traditions, but we also wanted to show the people of this country that, yes – it is possible to have a traditional African gay wedding,” explains Modisane. “There is this idea that being gay is an ‘unAfrican’ phenomenon, that homosexuality is something to be ashamed of – that it is a Western thing. Thabo and I wanted to go against this notion by showing South Africans that being gay is indeed African and is very much a part of the African culture. We wanted people to know that a gay union can be accepted and celebrated by friends, family and the broader community,” he says.

Watch the wedding video here.

7 Things That Make me Happy on International Women’s Day

It is easy to feel depressed on International Women’s Day – the scale of women’s oppression never seems to lessen, brutal rapes and murders continue to happen daily, girls are refused education or forced into inappropriate marriages or have their genitals mutilated and the places of power across the globe are still inhabited by a skewed proportion of men.

However, I have decided to focus on the things that make me happy on IWD. Here’s my list:

1. The feminist blogosphere is full of vibrant, intelligent women blogging up a storm. My feedreader is continually updated with excellent posts and articles that continue to make me think.
2. My feminist publisher, Argument mit Ariadne, is doing a brilliant job with the German translation of Balthasar’s Gift. Their sensitivity to the book’s themes, their commitment to feminist crime fiction and their commitment to excellence right down to word level, makes me feel like a very lucky and very fulfilled writer.
3. One Billion Rising even took place in Heidelberg – check out this great video, which still makes me cry: 
4. Opinions may differ on Sheryl Sandberg, but I am all about women of all generations, in all jobs leaning the fuck in. Anyone want to join a Heidelberg Circle?
5. Teenage feminists and male feminists. (If anyone could point me to a teenage male feminist, my joy would be complete.)
6. The fact that the No More Page 3 campaign is rapidly approaching 100,000 signatures and is still getting loads of press coverage.
7. Mamphela Ramphele’s new political party platform in South Africa. She is one of a host of amazing African women who are getting on with making things better.

What makes you happy on International Women’s Day?

ETA: Here’s what I did for last year’s IWD – a Pinterest board.

News in Brief

On The Wire

My obsession with The Wire has reached its peak, as we enter Season Five. I have lost many hours of sleep to this series. It may even be better than sleep. So far, I can’t decide if I love Season Two (the stevedores) or Season Four (the kids, the heartbreaking kids) the most. No-one is good or bad in The Wire, everyone is flawed and human. Nothing is explained, everything is shown. The canvas is huge, but it focuses on one city. The women are foul-mouthed members of the team, not objects of hotness. Characters you adore are mown down, leaving you mourning for days (RIP, Bodie). What a lesson for writing.

On not writing

Apparently what I am doing is called composting. That is all.

On finding a new author, or rather, an author new to me

I read and devoured AM Homes’ May We Be Forgiven over Christmas, and am now foisting it on everyone. She is quite, quite brilliant, and now I have just finished This Book Will Save Your Life, which equally good. Homes appears to be a prolific writer, so I have hours of reading happiness ahead of me.

On men in skirts.

Nice.

On fitness

Lunges hurt more than push-ups.

On work

Happiness is more important than career trajectory.

On snow

Snow makes winter easier to love.

On clarity

My to-do list is getting shorter, but I still have three major items that require ticking off.

On photo shoots

Artifice hurts and takes a very long time. However, it helps to have good people.

My Word for 2013 is …

… clarity.

2012 was a good year in many ways – I signed a publishing contract, started working full time again, read lots of great books, attended my first writers’ conference, had a fabulous three-week holiday back home in South Africa and a delicious 10 days in France and watched my family grow and develop in many delightful ways.

However, it was also scattered. I have no idea how many, or even which, books I read, work dominated my life, I had to prioritise down to the nth degree in order to get stuff done, my exercise routine dropped and shattered into a million dusty little pieces, I sacrificed eating healthily to the expedience of eating quickly, everything that wasn’t vital to everyday survival dropped off my to-do list, I saw my friends infrequently and I distracted myself from the things that are important to me.

I feel as if, in my haste, I forgot to breathe. Everything was a breathless, hasty, fuzzy rush to get the main thing done.

This year, I will aim for calm and clarity, for knowing why I am doing things and heading there step-by-step.

In the interests of achieving this, here are some of my goals for 2013:

• Sign an English-language publishing deal for Balthasar’s Gift
• Write daily, with the goal of providing a first draft of Karkloof Blue to my agent by July
• Exercise and eat for health
• Tick stuff off my to-do list
• Attend to people before tasks
• Remember that even if I love the job, the job doesn’t love me back*

And if I struggle to remember to do all of these things all of the time, I hope it won’t be too hard to remember just one small word.

Clarity

* Quote from The Wire, Season 2

* Photo courtesy of Ellenm1

Chased by a Rhino

I hitch-hiked from Narbonne to Perpignan in the back of a fish-truck.

I sold dolls that wee in a supermarket in Bloubergstrand.

I was chased by a rhino.

I met a naval officer who was dancing in a fountain and I took him to my school dance.

I am good at croquet, average at bridge, poor at tennis.

I gatecrashed the first opening of parliament of South Africa’s new democracy.

I waitressed at a Foreign Office event without a work visa.

I’ve slept all night on a beach.

I wore a paper hat for work in the John Lewis staff canteen.

I know that angels smell of roses.

I’ve given birth three times, but only once in a hospital.

I spent a week in Rome in a villa on Appian Way.

I have shaken hands with a Prince and dined with international cricket stars.

I went to Oliver Tambo’s funeral.

The garden of my last home was the site of a Roman temple.

I used to ask boys out on dates.

On honeymoon, my husband and I had to call guards to chase away the elephants outside our hotel room.

After her death, my grandmother visited me in spirit.

I was trapped by floods in a Transkei village.

I write because there are stories in my head.

I write because words follow each other.

I used to be a crime reporter, but not a very brave one.

I have written a book about a crime reporter. She climbs walls, rides motorbikes and saves a child. She is the hero.

Inspired by Simonne Michelle’s beautiful post Dancing on a Greek Island

Infographic: Closing the Gender Wage Gap

This is US-specific, but pretty interesting. We have got a long way go, folks:

(From the good people at LearnStuff.com)

World AIDS Day: Some Things I Found

It’s World AIDS Day today. I come from South Africa, a country where 4.85% of adults are HIV positive and where 1.7 million people are on ARV treatment. There are 1.9 million AIDS orphans in South Africa.

My novel, Balthasar’s Gift, centres on the murder of an AIDS activist. While discrimination is receding, and people who need treatment are starting to get treatment, South Africa still has a long way to go.

I alway focus on World AIDS Day here at Charlotte’s Web. Here are some things I found that show the changing face of HIV/AIDS:

Dating when you’re HIV positive

Portraits of people with HIV

10 Things We’ve Learned about HIV/AIDS

Clinton Releases Blueprint for AIDS-free Generation

HIV: Film tells survivors’ stories

HIV prevalence falls in sub-Saharan Africa, but is still higher than anywhere else

Orphaned at the ages of 6 and 7, Tandeka and Njabulo have looked after each other for 10 years. Their teacher is also an AIDS orphan.

Mother to child transmission reduces in South Africa, but the costs are hard to cover

South Africa: From Crisis to Catastrophe

South Africa: HIV drugs increase life expectancy by five years

Story of a Survivor

When the need is so great, it is hard to choose where or how to help. I support the Noah Community, which empowers communities in South Africa with the knowledge, skills, strategies and self-confidence needed to create and run organisations that support the well-being of their vulnerable children. These organisations are networks, not buildings, although most do have a resource centre. These centres have staff and provide additional programmes for vulnerable children such as daycare, aftercare, child protection and bereavement counseling.

If you have a World AIDS Day post, let me know and I will link to it here.

Here are some of my previous World AIDS Day posts.